i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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