i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
