I'm lost and stupid without you.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
