Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
