Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
