I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
