literally had 100 drinks last night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
