And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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