Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
