IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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