just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
