Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
