super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
