Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
