I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
