yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
not ubering you a puppy
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
