I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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