He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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