Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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