I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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