i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
