Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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