i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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