any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
