he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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