so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You are the jesus of drinking
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
