So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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