"it" just moved
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
