dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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