So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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