Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
