I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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