My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
