I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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