I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
