Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
