I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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