I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
