if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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