The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
