I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize