Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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