we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
