So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize