My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
