My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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