By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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