your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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