I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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