Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
