Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?