My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.