Texts From Last Night

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  (786): View more from Florida

  if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass

  (352): View more from Florida

  godspeed.

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  (786): if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass (352): godspeed. http://tfl.nu/ecel
  Replies (14) Good night (5122) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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  (785): if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone. http://tfl.nu/lyyb
  Replies (31) Good night (894) Bad night (4733)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  you win again, gameday.

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  (713): you win again, gameday. http://tfl.nu/vyt9
  Replies (34) Good night (3076) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

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  (807): Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/x0os
  Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (4037)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go

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  (858): while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go http://tfl.nu/n616
  Replies (7) Good night (3846) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.

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  (952): I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was. http://tfl.nu/9bfo
  Replies (6) Good night (2517) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.

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  (305): We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail. http://tfl.nu/cojn
  Replies (9) Good night (3082) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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  (215): Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar http://tfl.nu/5i2o
  Replies (4) Good night (1212) Bad night (2062)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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  (207): Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far. http://tfl.nu/heu3
  Replies (16) Good night (1864) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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  (561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way. http://tfl.nu/yi36
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.

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  (410): You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it. http://tfl.nu/i008
  Replies (6) Good night (1493) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...

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  (651): Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad... http://tfl.nu/vlpv
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident

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  (610): Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident http://tfl.nu/o3n7
  Replies (8) Good night (506) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?

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  (+44): Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry? http://tfl.nu/1i64
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.

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  (651): Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up. http://tfl.nu/p8h2
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (241)

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