Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

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(205): View more from Alabama

just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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(254): View more from Texas

oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...

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(231): View more from Michigan

Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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(775): View more from Nevada

We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before

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