Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea