Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.