Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.

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(630): View more from Illinois

My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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(858): View more from California

I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

(619): View more from California

you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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(310): View more from California

as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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(416): View more from Toronto

he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...

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(805): View more from California

Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet

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