Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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  (403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6
  Replies (15) Good night (2543) Bad night (730)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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  (215): Milquetoast, coolest word ever. http://tfl.nu/m1o9
  Replies (23) Good night (2271) Bad night (622)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.

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  (609): I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun. http://tfl.nu/l7dj
  Replies (14) Good night (3621) Bad night (839)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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  (808): Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger. http://tfl.nu/99q6
  Replies (8) Good night (1487) Bad night (4196)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

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  (516): Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch http://tfl.nu/s2ci
  Replies (10) Good night (4586) Bad night (825)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  On my way to the DMV to get arrested

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  (781): On my way to the DMV to get arrested http://tfl.nu/1450
  Replies (8) Good night (1126) Bad night (2123)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.

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  (815): He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT. http://tfl.nu/1ipa
  Replies (10) Good night (967) Bad night (1799)
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  (213): View more from California

  My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."

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  (213): My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie." http://tfl.nu/jevy
  Replies (38) Good night (3740) Bad night (799)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

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  (971): Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars? http://tfl.nu/yo90
  Replies (8) Good night (1434) Bad night (785)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?

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  (608): Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad? http://tfl.nu/ac75
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (2354)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.

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  (704): Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood. http://tfl.nu/f31d
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (996)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.

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  (701): Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year. http://tfl.nu/wvcz
  Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (418)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.

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  (918): I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me. http://tfl.nu/t73s
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (725)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (843): And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married (1-843): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/54cc
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (368)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"

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  (573): On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods" http://tfl.nu/38wh
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (269)

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