i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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