What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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