At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
