I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
