This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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