Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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