you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
