I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
