I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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