just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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