420 ftw
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
