she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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