if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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