Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
